Qmckenna’s Weblog

Lunch today came from Molinari’s in the Ferry Building.

Let me set the scene for you: 3 guys behind the counter, covered with tattoos, varied facial hair and 2008 versions of Buddy Holly glasses (they look a bit like the Hansen’s from Slapshot). The sound system is belting out what I presume is The Beastie Boys Christmas Album. I didn’t know they had one, but it seems like that’s what it is. Based on the chorus, the song that dominated my experience was likely called “Merry Motherfucking Christmas”.

The small deli is festooned with handwritten signs providing the “rules” you must follow to get a sandwich–they’re not onerous, but it isn’t intuitive. “Take a number.” “There is no line.” You “PICK your own bread” from a plastic box, but must “NEVER Touch the Bread With Your Hands”. If you want everything on your sandwich you are advised to “Order it All the Way”. You need to be prepared to tell them the name of your sandwich, how you want it and if you want cheese, which type you want. Nothing unusual. However, there is a very specific order you follow and if you deviate from it, you will be met with a roll of the eyes and a subtle but effective admonition. For example, the lady after me made two mistakes–first, she tried to hand the clerk her piece of bread before her number. He stopped that cold. “Number first.” Then she said she wanted cheese, but didn’t know which kind. He rolled his eyes then recited the list of available cheeses with a studied lack of enthusiasm (it’s 6–not 25–if it was a huge number you could understand the frustration a little bit better). The guy two before me did something wrong and the clerk put up his hands in a “stop” gesture, turned away and had a private discussion with another counter guy leaving the customer to cool his heels for a minute before returning and initiating the order over again saying, “OK, go on.”

Thankfully, through careful observation, I was able to negotiate the order process without angering my clerk and received no admonition. It is one of those places where, if you are not a regular and don’t know the routine, the staff gets off on making you feel like an asshole. The sandwich was good. I will not go back for awhile.